February 17, 2010 § Leave a comment

it has been such an important issue since i left my salary job. i was scared of course, being un-salaried (sp?) person after seven years of employment but i am very selfish too.

i would take some kinda bold step, at times. stupid maybe.

i thought :

~ our financial just okay without my monthly salary, calculatedly

~ it is FUN to be away from tht dreadful workplace

~ i would spend more time with the beloved son

~ i can workout some other mooney-generated source

well well well….the reality is not that pretty.

i just need to face the real world.


half empty

February 16, 2010 § Leave a comment

…half full?
I started to find tht half-emptiness in myself. Or maybe my life.
Barely could I find it half-full. Selfish here.
The other day I told him I’m not quite happy with myself.I’m not doing a good mother, nor a good wife, neither a good daughter. He then reasoned, what is a good wife?
I dunno. Perhaps anything that being lack in me.

I found it’s not easy to survive without stable income. I’m pathetic like that.
I tried to so hard to deny, I’m not regret.
Life is just not that easy, unless if u r born in super-rich family and having gold-spoon fed since baby. I’m not that lucky in this case.
So. What do I want?
I dunno. I’m so grateful for wht I have yet I couldn’t find where’s tht other half gone…

a day

February 15, 2010 § Leave a comment

i always believe that a good morning start wud always make a good day ending.

it’s very important that i must make myself ready for the day. it’s the morning pray. otherwise having failed to do so will turns me down. i still blame myself, till tis second. it really make me feel so not good. it’s bad.


February 14, 2010 § Leave a comment


February 14, 2010 § Leave a comment

translated : bekwoh

source : native language of kelantanese

so the first & second events finally done.

the akad nikah, friday 12th – checked

the bersanding at bride’s, sunday 14th – checked

next, the reception at groom’s, saturday 20th.

i found that wedding is really a bekwoh for many. the checklist (supposedly), the preparations, the commitments, and the most importantly the bud.get

as many made believe that a bekwoh shud be real grande, as it is once-in-a-lifetime love story (errk?) yet many almost overlook the true meaning of marriage. shud we follow the sunnah, it never takes our life so difficult. hence the bekwoh will pass thru easy. head-pounding less.

anyway. tis is not mine that i’m talking about. so just let them be.


February 14, 2010 § Leave a comment

inspired by a fren’s blog then i have tis urge to blog again. but tis time i’m pretty sure to make it a personal, completely.

it has been many moons, since i left my prev blog unattended.

and now here i am, wit my very brand new blog.


In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

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