she’s my Ma

May 6, 2010 § 2 Comments

so now i want to write about my mother.

we call her Ma. but me & my cheeky sister, usually we have some good ideas to tease her so for time being, sometimes we call her MSY (mok su yah). btw, her full name is Mek Yas bt Awang Hamat. our relatives and neighbors back in our (first) kampong used to call her so, mok su yah.

MSY is good person, i think. she used to have some bunch of friends, her fav ones. when i was younger (note : now i am young), i remember we used to host some gatherings of her friends, unofficially. they used to lepak-lepak for main kutu session, or jual pinggan mangkuk, or beli kain ela, or just simply talks. mengumpat maybe. hehe

when i was smaller (note: now i am pretty small, ;P) i remember that i was not so closed to her. i found it was quite difficult to talk to her. she was a strict mother, i think. i wont go to her if i need to ask about any teenager’s curious. i did not ask her for any want-to-buy request. i tried so much not to tell her my exam result if i dun placed myself among the best 3 in the class. i found that all i need to do is to please her, with all the good news and good things. otherwise, i better stay away from her.

so much unlike my father. (reminds me to write about him next time)

so there was my mother. soon when i attended boarding school, our relationship remain with that same term. she is the mother, i’m one of her daughters.

1995, the beloved father left us. we were not ready, none of us. but Allah is the Best Planner. i was about 17 years old, just before SPM result was released. my life somehow changed since then. my father no more around. i dun have that Abah to talk to. i even lost my direction, what shud i do next? which university to choose? what course shud i take? what do i wanted to be? i had many doubts than answers. then i tried to talk to my mother. the way i used to talk to my father. it wasn’t so natural but later we made it anyway, half good i could say.

during the university years, i learned about my mother better. then we were closer, at least better than before. yet still i found it was not so natural somehow. she is the mother that i need to please her, most of the time.

we had many disagreements thru the years. some about my love life, some about my way of life. when i break the news about my then husband-to-be, it was disaster. our relationship turn sour, as much as my heartache. But Allah knows Best. magically me & husband united with her blessing (tho i could see she was not happy, but at least she attended the majlis).

then my new chapter began…now i have family of my own. now she loves my son very much more than she loves me. now she volunteers to stay with us at our house. now she talks to my husband tho only few words they both could understand. and last month she stayed with us for about a month, i had the chance to take care of her after she was discharged from hospital. now i still love her. and she still the mother who i need to please her, all the time.

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§ 2 Responses to she’s my Ma

  • syanashwa says:

    either we realized this or not.. like it or not.. we always have ‘ma’ in ourselves.. 🙂 tk sangka ery kehilangan ayah lebih awal.. sememangnya ayah seorng nakhoda.. boleh hilng arah tnpanya.. 😦

  • theveryery says:

    nashwa, betul tu. but somehow i always found myself at opposite pole from my mother. sometimes i pray i dun grow old in the same way she is now. hmm..

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