bittersweet : a separate spectrum

September 27, 2010 § Leave a comment

Life is colorful.

Sometimes i found myself in a deep, hollow, sorrow hole. Suffocated to resurface. Remember : that is a test.

He has plan everything beyond our understanding sometimes. But He meant that for good.

Last couple of months, i had problem when i found myself was cheated. When it is money matters, we should expect the unexpected, i recalled. But at that time, little did i realized i was sent into my own “grave”.

Then a great lesson learnt.

Love is blind. Yes. But money can make it worse. *sigh* People wud do anything for money. They could disowned trust, even from closest family. *double sigh*

Alhamdullillah…after a streak of “cold war” and long prayers, yesterday i won the battle. Anyway, it’s mine. So i just claim my right.

And today i received another good news…all praise to Allah, unto Him we put our hopes. He answer my prayers.

InshaAllah this December i’m going to perform Umrah. That’s my biggest dream for now, amongst other hopeful wishes.

I’m going with my brother and SIL. I’ll leave behind my little precious for first time in our bonding years, for a short 11 days. I dunno how will i handle that separation, but I know Allah will help me go through.

I’m very excited. And nervous at same. This is my first experience. I praying hard, i hope everything goes smoothly and safe, my journey, my ibadah and my family here back home.

“Verily, with every difficulty there is relief” [Surat Ash-Sharh, 94 :6]

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Bittersweet: A Spiritual Perspective on Special Needs Parenting

September 21, 2010 § 3 Comments

Today i stumbled upon this link, at my fren’s wall at facebook. (She has an autistic daughter too)

That post written by a mother (its link below) who shared her experience handling a son with autism. It is so much heartfelt post, a natural motherly story. Naturally, i feel it closed to heart.

It’s kinda natural bonding, when we read or hear about other people who’s dealing with same situation as us. We understand much better.

Here’s her story. I’m sure there are many other unsung heroes outhere who’s making their best with their loved ones.

Bittersweet: A Spiritual Perspective on Special Needs Parenting | MuslimMatters.org.

#p.s :

My Sweetheart Ummar,

I may not the best mom in the world. But I’m willing to offer everything I have and anything I could, to make your life beautiful, the best that a son could ever have. I dun know what’s on your mind, until now we still dun have the chance to really “talk”, but i’m trying my best to understand. We may be not rich family, but believe me my son, money cant buy everything.

I love you more than you could ever imagined.

Mommy.

Rendang, the sequel

September 19, 2010 § Leave a comment

the postponed details, continued from here

Law of Making Rendang (according to me)

Step 1 : Blend all these ingredients

~ Bawang Merah, Bawang Putih, Lengkuas, Kunyit, Cili Kering, Cili Api, Rempah Ketumbar, Serai. (i cant specify amount/nos of each, i agak2 jer…very unreliable recipe actually. hehe)

Step 2 : Masukkan bahan2 yg dah blend tadi dlm kuali, bersama-sama ayam / daging. (again, amount ni agak2 lah ya. hehe). Masukkan garam, serbuk jintan manis & jintan putih. Kacau dan biarkan mereka serasi bersama. 😉

Step 3 : Bila dah almost kering, dan ayam / daging dah empuk, masukkan kerisik kelapa, kacau dan masukkan santan. Biarkan mendidih dan pekat. Optional : saya masukkan manisan kelapa, yg warna brown tu. Or else boleh masukkan gula biasa jugak, sikit sahaja. Then masukkan hirisan2 Daun Kunyit. Kacau.

Step 4 : Bila dah almost kering (berkuah sikit2 je), then dah boleh hidangkan. Voila! itu sahaja.

msg

September 18, 2010 § Leave a comment

This morning.

Salam…

I nak mohon maaf for many wrongdoings I have done to you, intentionally or unintentionally. I was stupid, ignorant and selfish. Yet now I’m still far from perfect.

Dan halalkan makan minum yg you pernah spent for me, and any other expenses. Thanks alot.

Life is short. I dun want to carry so much burden into my short future.

Lastly, Salam Aidilfitri to you & your beloved family.

Rgds,

Sent.

I feel lighter. Much better.

Rendang Ayam Kampung

September 10, 2010 § 1 Comment

I just posted tht earlier post and suddenly i remember i have long due new category of my cooking adventures.

I name it Kitchen Notes.

Here’s the first entry of this new folder. Since i just cooked Rendang Ayam yesterday, i can recall pretty well plus i hav a snap pic of them.

Okay here’s the intro. This recipe i got from my fren’s mom. A true Nogori-an. Once i tasted her rendang, that was sooo nice! Tanpa segan silu maka saya bug dia suruh tanya resepi dpd maknya. Since then, i practiced this Law of Rendang everytime orders were made up. It has not failed me so far, at least it’s good enough for my tastebud. (what or who else matters, kan?) *wink*

Bahan-Bahan / Material : (sorry i will skip this. bcos i dun like to read thru bahan2 if i’m reading recipe. it’s normally a long list and that might spoil my spirit to cook, most of time. So normally i’d jump to Kaedah and peek scroll up to Bahan-Bahan if there’s need.)

Kaedah / Procedure :

*alamak tetiba mata rasa ngantuk*

Shall i postpone this detail later?

heh.

but anyhow, here’s the result.

bahan bukti

shawwal again

September 10, 2010 § Leave a comment

It’s here again, finally. Tis time I’m quite certain about my feeling towards Shawwal. Tis time I could relate it more to the earlier month. Such mixed feeling, of letting go at one side and embracing joy at the other. Perhaps now I get to know me better. Of my wants, of my desire, of my misery, of my sorrow. Time has taught me pretty  good, so far. Alhamdulillah. I pray to The Almighty, to keep me in the right path. To lead me to the bright future, bestow me with His Greatest Love and protect me from the sinful nafs. Ameen ya Allah, ya Rahmaan, ya Raheem.

Today I’m so happy, after many Shawwals finally today I urged myself to perform Solat Eid. I dunno. Somehow I felt such a sense of relief.

we stop at Kayu for breakfast after solat eid.

Later in afternoon, some friends of Mr Hubby’s came over for “celebrating” our Hari Raya fest. I’m happy, at least we have some guest and Mr Hubby enjoyed chit-chatting. I cooked Rendang Ayam and Kerutuk Daging yesterday eve. Today i just boiled the instant Nasi Impit and cooked Kuah Lontong.

That’s our Shawwal 01, 1431H to remember.

~ Yours Truly~

issue

September 7, 2010 § Leave a comment

i have an issue. this one i’ve been dealing with for some time, putting up reasons and confronting myself, lemme correct. it’s confronting & comforting. i let the battle run deep inside myself. take up a place in brain and sometimes in my heart. so i call it an issue.

since i left my office job, okay actually prior to make that big decision, i’ve considered so much that many things will change. i might risk some of my leisure, and that include my good time with friends. but since i’m not living in wonderland, i have to make a choice. i cannot have everything in my small hands.

so the issue here is about friends. i sense that i’m losing some friends, that used to be my good friends. i dunno. i tot with edgy technology now, things shud be easier for people connecting with others. take FB for instance, we are in the loops, yet we are still far apart. (or maybe it’s just me who thinks so). i dunno. we dun communicate much. i’d rather observe them communicating within their loop, and i feel i cant fit into it. while i’m adjusting myself with this new title “housewife”, it takes down my pride somehow. maybe, i feel “impotent”

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