September 6, 2010 § Leave a comment

I still dun get that normal festive vibes for this coming hari raya.

* shopping new clothes – pending

* shopping cookies – pending

* change small note for duit raya – pending

* bake (if possible) some homemade cookies – pending

* pay zakat fitrah – pending

* pay other relevant zakat – pending

I think, those checklist status above will remain “pending” till the day of Raya, except the last two items. *sigh*

I dunno. i just dun have enough excitement of celebrating hari raya…since some years back.

Some years ago i just tried my best to get done with some preparation just for the sake to celebrate with my Mom back home. just for the sake of “ambik hati” dia. none at my side.

I recalled ever since my late Dad not around, then shortly later Mom moved to new house away from our house (i always considered our old house is my hometown, my Dad’s house, the house i know since i introduced to this world, the house i grew up at, the house that treasured all my childhood memories). Then, i failed to collaborate Hari Raya mood with joyous definition, except i have done it all to please my Mom.

Obviously Mr Husband cares nothing if we dun celebrate at all. For him, once we done with puasa, that’s all about it. And long hours travelling to Mom’s hometown in massive traffic jam were just turn down the festive mood at equal. Plus, he was always frustrated to boredom spending holidays at my Mom’s back home, with no activities except he wud retired to bed almost all of time. A good sleeping treatment, the only excuse i could comfort him.

On First Day Raya morning, i’d always made a schedule to visit my Dad’s “resthome”. I thought that would made me feels better of visiting him, being close to him, pray to his comfort “overthere” but that sight of our old house never failed to wrench me down. That old abandoned house of ours.

And we’d normally spend one day (normally Raya Day 2 or 3) to drive to KB to reach PCB beach. We enjoyed resting at one of stalls selling seafoods celup tepung (marvellous, i swear) and waves sound at background. Bliss.

And this year, i have decided earlier that we are not going back to celebrate at Mom’s house. Since now Mom is staying here alternatively among ours, and she’ll be back here again after Raya, i’d rather stay here and celebrate with her here later.

Tis time it may be boring, but we dun have to spend long hours in the car, i dun have to spend hours at mom’s kitchen cooking dishes to please others, and Mr Husband shall enjoy holiday with other activities.

I call it a Break.

One thing for sure, i’ll miss visiting Dad’s resthome in the morning of raya. And i’ll miss to feel his presence right there watching us pray for him. I miss him.

~Your Truly~


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