tahun

i’m not a good writer. hence i’m not a good blogger. i blog whenever i’m bored…or i’m hyped. heh. (which that latter happens very very rare i guess)

i dun speak good english. neither at writing. and since i’m not good at writing, i just write my mind.

tis time i’ll try to write in bahasa. i speak good bahasa, in kelantan especially. but i always doubt with my writing structure, something not natural when i write, which sounds much better when i speak, of course. hence that explains i’m not a good writer.

here goes:

tahun baru dah dekat. cuma beberapa hari saja lagi. aku (or should i say “saya”) rasa agak teruja. tahun depan rasanya lebih menarik dari tahun ni.
si suami ada beberapa perancangan, hampir kesemuanya bakal bermula pada januari depan. nanti dia lebih sibuk. kesian dia. kadang2 aku saya rasa mcm agak “useless”, sebab aku saya jadi surirumah. saya tahu surirumah juga kerja yg mulia, cuma mungkin kerana saya tidak menjana pendapatan untuk membantu keluarga, saya rasa agak kekurangan. tetapi si suami selalu mengingatkan, saya sedang lakukan kerja yg mulia katanya. jika saya tidak menguruskan rumahtangga dgn baik seperti sekarang, tidak mungkin dia dapat kerja dengan fokus dan tenang. saya rasa bangga juga…hihi. terima kasih si suami, kerana sentiasa memberikan saya kekuatan dan menghargai saya.

🙂

words

Ummar is doing better, i think. His dad also agreed. His teacher (Ms Foo) also keeps reporting me of his positive changes throughout his sessions. It was 2 weeks till now. Alhamdulillah. All praise to Him, The Almighty, The Planner, The Listener.

He’s building up his vocabs, surprisingly. Normally during sessions, he really make me a proud mom. He behaves differently much better than at home. He listens to teacher’s instructions, follow and works on task, with no qualm.

Now he can hold pencil. He can draw lines. He can track mazes. He listens to voice recorder playback during his session. The other day played jigsaw puzzle with teacher. He’s much calmer. He followed instructions and less impulsive. He waited for next instructions. Mommy so happy.

Last friday, we heard “Teacher” from him. Woowww. Then he confidently said “REST”. He shouted actually, hihi..he wanted to take a break after doing some mazes.

Couple of days before that, at our kitchen, i gave him a glass of water then he muttered “Thank…Mom”
Ohmy Mommy almost pengsan.

🙂

I think since we are maidless, naturally we builds up our bonding stronger. We are always together, except for some days which I send him to daycare (for him to mingle with other kids during this school break so mommy can do some errands). Normally i join his therapy sessions so that i can learn his activities too and i practice with him at home.

Last week we went to BKC at TTDI, a kindy which mentioned by my fren at FB. I was quite surprise that they accept autistic kids too. So we just tried our luck and had appointment with the principal, Claire.
A nice lady, and a very determined teacher. I like the way she runs the program. She explained that she caters activities according to kids’ individual needs & ability. Means, it’s not by their age. She will find out what is their lacking (individually) and how to improve. Afterall, she made me trust her right away and i really hope that they will accept Ummar for next year enrollment, since they limits the number of intake. As to make sure that they could focus on each student.

Just now, i received sms from Claire. Ummar is accepted.

Alhamdulillah.

I think we have brighter years awaiting ahead. 🙂

homework

so last friday was our first therapy session. alhamdulillah it went well, albeit it was rushing morning cos we shud be there before 9. preparing him for shower was easy but to make him out of the bathroom was tough task. he enjoyed playing water. i prepared his breakfast and left myself with no time to eat. anyway we managed to be there on time.

i dropped him off then i made an excuse to get out. felt better. tho for a short time but i think i missed that being-with-myself-time. alone. (i still love you Ummar, dun worry) 😉

okay, now about the therapy. now i found out why i feel better assured with their program is the TOOLS that she introduced on every visit. There were three visits so far.

First visit : First Assessment. It was 2 hours session. She briefed about brain mechanism, some theories of CEP program and how it relates to behavioral difficulties esp on special need kids. She explained the first thing to do is to make him identify dominant voice ie our speech. Then she introduced “Whisper Phone”. Actually it is a plastic tube, used for pumping water for aquarium. It just cost RM6, i bought at a pet shop she addressed later. I speak (actually whisper cos it amplified our voice) at one end and the other end at Ummar’s ear. First try was bad, he resisted and screamed at his top lung. That continued till the end of session but at last he did tolerate for some good minutes. I supposed to continue practicing at home but i was quite handful with visits to my mom so i just had very little chance to practice.

Second visit : Second Assessment. Another 2 hours session and this time she introduced a Blindfold. Blindfold was placed at his forehead, lower part, just above his eye level so that to make him focus on working sheets on table. And tis time she made him practiced to hold pencil by using rubber band tied to his wrist. That works well. I surprised that Ummar can hold pencil correctly and last for longer time. Normally he wud let it off after short while. And he even did pre-writing practice. Woah mommy double-surprised! Ummar can follow lines and draw shapes! That was amazing for me. Tho it may seem very normal for normal kids, but for me every little achievement he made is A BIG SUCCESS. Alhamdullilah…And i guess Ms Foo also quite surprised with his improvement so she decided to get done with assessment.

Third visit : First Therapy. 1 hour session. This time she introduced using a voice recorder to playback songs, short stories, etc. Amazingly, Ummar again tolerates and working on his task while listening to playbacks on headphones. And again, mommy got to buy tht tool. Anyway, we would spend anything for him, as long as tht makes good for him. Mommy bought a Sony Voice Recorder & Headphones, right after the session, at Jusco. Hehe.

Mommy did some recordings already (hehe macam recording artist plak), some of his favorite songs. Later Mommy will browse short stories ebooks audiobooks on internet. That recorder is provided with USB link, so we can just download from internet and copy to recorder.

That’s my project tonite. 🙂

cognitive-ly

We have done with CEP assessment. after 2 visits of 2 hours each, she (Ms Foo) decided that Ummar is ready for therapy session. That’s better. Assessment fee per hour is double than therapy fees.

This Friday is the first therapy session, twice a week. I really hope Ummar will benefits from this program.

InshaAllah.

on another note:

i miss my iPhone. I’m half-lost without it. Mr already offered to buy a replacement, he understands how much i depend on my iphone. that’s the last thing i touched before i sleep (he should be jealous actually). But i’m still undecided.

Of cos i’m ecstatic if i could have a new iphone4, but..how long will it last. accident may happen again. huk

heaps

* my mother admitted at hospital, nights before hari raya

* my mother had minor surgery for hemodialysis, day before hari raya

* my maid flew back for good, 3 days after hari raya

* i took over housechores since then, i have no problem with tht department

* i took over babysitting job, minding & manning for Jr. – tht is much challenging

* my beloved iphone was “drowned” into pail of water, last two days. *cried out loud*

* my mother doesn’t seems any better, yet…and there’s some thing else we are quite worry about

ciao for now!

import

see i just did magic!

within few single minutes, i just imported my old blogpost from my old blog at blogspot.

fuiyoh! feeling better.

now..am off to delete that blog overthere with no guilt.

it’s all here, they are mine. my folders now aplenty, right from year 2008.

i got another older blog at another blog site, wonder if i could bring ’em all here too

sick

am not really in the mood to update

last few days we received news about my mother who fell sick again

she’s in hometown, since last hari raya

am worry about her

she has the maid with her, but it’s never the same as we children care for her

alhamdulillah, tho

i pray she will gather her strength soon and recovers soonest

everytime my phone ringing, it’s torturing

i’m worry…for any bad news

merancang

“kita hanya merancang…tapi hanya Dia yang berhak menentukan”

School

Earlier we had come to understanding that starting next year, Ummar will be placed into normal daily class with other kids. I was quite excited, i always want normal things for him. Normal school, normal class, normal friends, normal development, normal milestone, normal activities, etc… but we are never The Mastermind.

This year his schedule is quite awkward. Starts from 12.30pm to 2.45pm, 3 days a week on alternate days. He is under occupational therapy with Teacher Charisma, 1 to 1 basis. The fee is almost double than normal fee. We agreed cos we have not many choice. A beggar cant be a chooser, kan?

Some time ago we had a discussion with the principal about his next year schedule and i was told that he will join normal daily schedule starting next year, but his fee is still double because he needs to continue the therapy sessions. Again, we beggars have no choice.

So i was trying to figure out some good plans, to fix into his next year timetable. 8.30am to 2.45pm daily so i have an ample time for meself. And i’m gonna be maidless. Yes i must do all the housechores. But I am not fancy to travel back and forth everyday to SA, making it 4 trips daily. Petrols+Toll+Time. A big waste. So i imagining to make myself more Useful (heck! feeling this kinda worthless actually since i’m no longer a salary-contributor). I tot maybe i can find a job, any odd job as long as Halal, somewhere nearby his school and can fit into my schedule (correction : his schedule), it’s half-day obviously. But at least i can cut down travelling time & cost. I was thinking of Librarian (hihi, comel). Where and how, i dun go to details yet. So I consulted Mr, he was not quite happy with that. Then i reasoned about wasting my time & my energy, then he partly agreed.

Until…last monday. When finally i got another (twisted) news that Ummar will continue same schedule (12.30pm-2.45pm) next year but everyday instead of 3 days weekly now. And, at tht same DOUBLE FEE, RM800 monthly.

Melampau! (that was the first thing shoot into my head) Yet i smiled. Again, we beggars…

Finding a school for him is pretty hard. Yes there are some centre operating specializing to handle autistic kids. EAP for instance, located in Bangsar. not so far from our place, but their fee is too far from our budget. averagely 10K monthly! then what’s gonna left for us to makan. Maybe they are just too good, yet unmatched our condition.

Some other centres are much cheaper, operated by NASOM-KIWANIS. But normal rule says : when things cheap, it last fast. It’s fully occupied. And, another reason i’m not really keen to send him over, because I dun want him to be in special school. I may sound harsh, or selfish, but that is how i felt even from beginning when he was diagnosed with autism. I want him to go thru normal life. Yes he is very special to me, but i think being placed in special school with other special kids, that might be demotivating. Pardon me, but that is my personal view and feeling.

tis pic taken on his last birthday

So, it seems now plans changed again. We can only plan, but unto Him we surrender. He The Best Planner, The Best Knowing, The Gracious and Most Merciful.

First Ten Days of Dhul Hijjah

I read tis article at muslimmatters.org website. Interesting, i like it much. i wud copy & paste here, for my reference, now and in future.

There are tons of reasons why you wouldn’t want to pass up this opportunity. Do you know which one? The first ten days of Dhul Hijjah.

It’s that time of the year again, the last month of the lunar calendar for the year 1431 after the Hijrah of the Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam. This is the time when more than two million people from all around the globe will be meeting together for at least five days in the plains of Makkah, Mina, Arafa and Muzdalifa to perform their sacred journey to Makkah, known to us as al-Hajj, the pilgrimage. What bonds them together? One thing: al-Islam.

If you are already reading this, most likely you are not going to Hajj. And if you’re there already, then what on earth are you doing wasting your time online? Go to the Haram and enjoy your tawaf.

There are two chances in life: the one which you have already missed and the one which you don’t want to miss. What you already have is no longer a chance, its reality.

Therefore, for those of us who were unable to be there in Makkah, why should we value these special days of the year? Here are my top five reasons.

Allah subahanahu wa ta’ala valued these days so much that he swore by them in the Qur’an. And If Allah swore by something, then it is definitely profound and of the greatest value. Allah says:

والفجر وليال عشر
“by the dawn, and by ten nights” alfajr 89:1-2

Ibn Kathir rahimahullah in his tafsir referred to these ten days as the ten days of Dhul Hijjah. He also attributed this opinion to Ibn Abbas, Ibn az-Zubair and others of the righteous predecessors.

The good deeds performed during these ten days are most rewarded, more than any other time of the year.
Ibn Abbas narrated the Messenger salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam said:

(مَا مِنْ أيَّامٍ العَمَلُ الصَّالِحُ فِيهِنَّ أحَبُّ إلى الله مِنْ هَذهِ الأيَّامِ العَشْرِ) ، فقالُوا يا رسولُ الله: ولا الجِهَادُ في سَبِيلِ الله؟ فقالَ رسولُ الله : ( ولا الجِهَادُ في سَبِيلِ الله، إلاّ رَجُلٌ خَرجَ بِنَفْسِهِ ومَالِهِ، فَلَمْ يَرْجِعْ من ذَلِكَ بِشَيْءٍ).

“There are no days during which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than these ten days. The companions asked: not even jihad in the cause of Allah? The Messenger of Allah replied: Not even jihad in the cause of Allah except for the one who went to fight taking himself and his wealth but did not return with either of them.” (Bukhari and Tirmidhi.)

These ten days host one special day in which there are so many blessings. It is the day of Arafa, the ninth day of Dhul Hijjah and the day preceding the Eid day. Some of the blessings of Arafa are:

• Fasting that day expiates the sins of two years, the previous one and the coming year. (Muslim)
• It is a day in which Allah completed the revelation of the religion, perfected this bounty bestowed upon us and was satisfied with Islam as our religion. This was mentioned in surat al-Ma’edah 5:3. (Bukhari and Muslim)
• It is the day when Allah AlMighty descends, in a manner that suits His Majesty, to the closest heaven and shows his pride to the angels about the presence of the pilgrims. (Muslim)
• In this day Allah promises the pilgrims to bestow his mercy on them and forgive their sins so that when they return home they return free of sins just like the day when their mothers gave birth to them. (Bukhari and Muslim)
• It is a day when many people will be emancipated from the fire of Hell.

The season of the ten days of Dhul Hijjah is a festivity of worship. No other days of the year hold so many diverse acts of worship as done in such a short time, not even in Ramadan. And here is a list of some of what good deeds are done during these days in Makkah and elsewhere around the globe:

• Hajj and multiple Umrahs by millions of people.
• The sacrifice of the dunya and this world for the sake of attending the Hajj.
• The display of humility, humbleness and devotion in the actual rituals of Hajj.
• Tawaaf around the Ka’bah and Sai’ between the two hills of Safa and Marwa.
• Abundance of Dhikr, the praise of Allah especially takbeer and tahleel and what other pilgrims say the most, Talbiyah.
• Fasting for the non-pilgrims.
• Being extra charitable.
• Offering the hadi’y and udhiyah or qur’ban the sacrifice of livestock and feeding the poor.
• The inclination towards repentance.
• The engagement in long du’a or supplications as a sign of humility and humbleness.
• Maintaining the prayers in the sacred sites al-Haram in Makkah and the Masjid of the Prophet in Madinah.
• The recitation of the Qur’an.

The ten days of Dhul Hijjah also host the greatest day of the year, Yum-an-Nahr the day of the sacrifice, the 10th which is the actual day of Eid. The Messenger of Allah said:

(إنَّ أَعْظَمَ اْلأيَّامِ عِنْدَ الله تبارك وتعالى يَوْمُ النَّحْرِ ثُمَّ يَوْمُ الْقَرِّ)

“The best day with Allah is yum-an-Nahr, the day of sacrifice and then yum-al-qarr (the day that follows, when the pilgrims reside in the camps of Mina for worship).” (Ahmad, Abu Dawood and an-Nasa’iee).

So, now that you know the significance of this season, what do you need to do? Here some suggestions for you:

• Increase your level of worship during the day and during the night.
• Try to achieve one khatma of the Qur’an (reading it from cover to cover).
• Keep your tongue moist with dhikr and praise of Allah wherever you are.
• Maintain a state of tahara and wudu at all times.
• Make most of your dhikr Takbeer (like the one you recite on Eid day).
• Fast a few days while the days are short and cold, particularly the 9th, the day of Arafa.
• If you haven’t paid for the qurban (sacrificial animal) yet, make sure to do so. Perhaps you should donate one to those who are most in need of it in areas such as Pakistan and Gaza.
• Wake up before Fajr time and pray Qiyam-ul-Layl.
• Pray your Fard salat on time.
• Make sure you don’t miss any of the Nafl and Sunnah prayers.
• Give charity and help those who are less fortunate prepare for the Eid day.
• Share the spirit of the season and be cheerful with all people.

There is so much you can do for the ten days of Dhul Hijjah, but you are the one who knows your schedule better than any one else. Make sure to make this season a priority and may Allah grant you all Jannatul Firdous.

Remember, there are two chances in life: the one you already missed, and the one you don’t want to miss. So don’t miss out on the ten days of Dhul Hijjah.
Note : this article linked from here

first time

today…

* pay zakat thru online. senang amat ropanya

* pay astro thru online. hahaha. macam orang baru guna internet plak

* pay cukai taksiran @ mppj. that was major burnt of our account today. tis one has been much much much overdue, it was for three and half years tax, for the apartment at KD. i cursed the liar lawyer, i hope i will find him someday rotten begging for my mercy. cett! he owed me that precious S&P document until now. (silly me)